Saturday, November 12, 2011


A huge temptation lies on my table.
I touch its silky cover.
I want to have it.
Thinking of calories,
Last chocolate fudge gave me,
I withdraw my hands.
Can not just gift it away.
Could not just throw it away.

I tell myself- 'Last time'.

Imagine a temptation that is alive.

He breathes on me hard,
Zzz I want to turn away.
Nn I am fixed.

And here,
I slip again;
Melting in the warmth unconsciously.
As the torturous thoughts wriggle me,
I wonder what and how?
Is it a drug,
A mere whiff of his distinct fragrance,
Or unsung yet heard song.
He serenades and lulls my conscience to sleep.

Why, then the dream still lasts long?

Wish, I had more time to figure it out,
Or is it just me, resolved not to go with the wind again!

Mirage, is this all!
What I do not understand,
My imagination brings to me.

From a poet to a foreboding witch.
I dig grave of a forbidden emotion,
Make room for some new commotion.
If those two could adjust together,
I should have dug one mine along with the two.

Or might as well have shrug off 'The coat of pessimism'.

The glitch is coat is thick-
Would take more than just two hands.

Hands of destiny,or
Of someone just as strong.

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Corp Web

 Spider Man

 And so,
 I read his message again and again:
 I doubt my comprehension
 I doubt his writing skills
 I love it.
 It is the only I have 
 in so many days.

Each time, more keenly,
Each time, checking the unsaid,
Each time undoing my resolution

And so I reviewed my vow
again and again

I do not want to lose focus
I do not want to get affected.
Yet I want to get closer.

Thought I needed someone since long.
One day I shall devote myself-
To his affection.
Ironically, recession, inflation, privatization spread connived about the climax.

He could be a tiger.
He is one during our pillow talks.
I feel great about this disposition,
His conversation bowls me over-
Especially when he is courteous;
Especially, when he is esoteric;
Especially, when he educates me.

Times have transformed things.
Transition has led to metamorphosis.
Hysterically, I wonder
If I, ever had a crush on the filmy Spider man!

A few spiders I have know personally,
Nah! Not that man!

Spiders get trapped not in mine
But in the “Corp -webs”-
They like to believe that it’s theirs.
But it is complicated.

Tiger and spiders are a strange mix.

Iron Woman

I love apples.
But, I doubt my own integrity.
Adulteration has affected beauty
Beauty-Which I could possess.
Grandmothers never had extras.
We go to parlor for lavish spas!

For calcium, we have special Horlicks.
It tastes yum!

Confession I too was driven by
Confessional verses and so
was my mother - motivated.
To prove my mettle;
I was kept from metals in the kitchen
But I have always had pens.

When fancying an iron woman
Spider man hears
I am on way to finding myself and
I guess so are you?

I understand you are busy
And so I am.

Life in a fast lane:
We have tried fast food.
 For that matter, fast intimacy too!
 It has been damn befuddling!
 Essentially an existentialist limbo...
 A cry or whimper!
 I read his message again
 Only to understand- I need more
 But I can not expect it for sure.
 I love it.
 So I read it again-
 "Very busy,
 Sorry could not make it this time,can not write much either.
 Your thoughts awfully cast a spell on me.
 Sure would see you' sometime".

I understand there is love.
But love is challenged.
When can an iron woman feed spiders?
She plays with metal.
She looks fit and firm.

But she has got to know-
Mere reservation won’t help her.
No doubt Metro ride is pink and a consolation.

She has to be more patient than ever before.
if not the home sciences-
then she better get herself an education 

Iron is good for health.
but to rest is to rust.

And his message is music-
My mind can not forget.


Sunday, October 16, 2011

Selfish Hymns

And o low-
There comes the darkest hour too.
Just in the last minute.
Caught by frenzy,
I sing woe begone.
Where shall I hide myself?
I pray to you god,
To forgive me for my vanity
And keep me from it further Ahead is road-
Long and strong;
I have got to walk through the fog.
To reach the destination,
Meant for me,
I have got to believe in myself.
O god, please be around-
In form of friends, guides and me.
If I am alone,
Then be a part of darkness.
If I am lost in the crowd,
Then please shine high,
As sun and moon;
Entice me towards you.
Just shower your blessing on me.
This is the time I need you the most.
This is the time,
You have to be with me.
For me, you are hope!
Hope embodies you.
Stay with me in this moment...
My dreams and I need you the most.
We are your thought.
You created us and,
We walk on your path,
We need you now the most...
Standing at the crossroads.

Friday, October 14, 2011

à bientôt

Johari window's unknown zone

That quadrant excites me.
It is a mystery call.
Will I learn an occult science or,

Just do sth absolutely hysterical,
Is a million dollar question for me.

Whenever life becomes the smoothest,
I want a new adventure.
The adventure dehydrates me -
Its planning & structure are a mirage.
I still take a leap of faith.

Each time like Tennyson,
I think.
Each time unlike him,
I am alone.
I have an army of my own thoughts.
Hence no excuse,
I tell myself.

Lyrics such as Bon Jouvi's :
Wherever you are...
Consoles my pessimism.

Like the shepherd in the Alchemist-
I want to follow signs.
Omen is difficult to follow-
Yet,sometimes the  intuition is worth a million prosaic calculation.

Is this my adventure?
Will I lose every thing,
Will I gain weight?
Let it be!

I hope not to disappoint too much those,
To whom it matters.

I beg to love me same
Even tomorrow.

And I  know -
It is  just the time,
When everything feels so right and so uncertain at  the same time.

I am here and doing it!

Wish to keep writing...

Monday, October 10, 2011

She left a note

Morning cup of fresh dew fills my breath,even before the coffee brews.
I guess m happy sipping the effect through my addictive thinking, 
she was there last night.
It felt nice, 
the note near the pillow she left is nicer.
She said that back on the same page 3 u shall see me again,if your imagination tests ur patience then catch me at the movie release this Friday. Do not be envy if the hero kisses me. Just as u imagined me last night, you imagine the movie and think of u as mine...

A filmstar spoke to her aficionado

Sunday, October 9, 2011

The Sinuous

Time goes by so slowly,slowly,slowly...
I adore Madona.
I admire Richard Gere.
I look at Steve Jobs with awe.
Je'adore Kiran Bedi.
I believe in Oscar Wilde.
I like many such iconoclasts.

What do I do?
O Milton , Just wait and watch !
Turning 27 feels graceful!
I manage to look 23.
I sound 26.
I act 14.
Still a rebel...
Still harbor diaphanous dreams of glory,
I feel like a river.

My sea feels like miles away!
In my restive hour,
I think imaginatively :
Just to relax,
I rest at man made reservoirs.
Sometimes they look like sea.

Does a sea exist?
I wait for 'Godot'!
Time goes by so slowly,slowly,slowly....

Sunday, September 18, 2011

Philanthropic Touts- Beware!!

This is an oxymoron.Aint it?
A tout and philanthropic!!!
Yes, there are a few special ones.

It was August 2010.
My first PG accommodation in Gurgaon closed down.
All the PGs were asked to vacate on a short notice of 15 days.
The keeper recommended another sister concern.

I moved into the new place.
I had to compromise on my privacy.
Same money but one more occupancy.
I maintained my rapport with the old guy.
He was happy thinking he was able to help.
We went out for footloose and even footsie.
He could not interest me beyond a few public outings.
Things came to a standstill.

I met the new landlords.
Thank god,they were old.
They showed me a low cost room.
I was steered away to a high cost room the very next day.
For the one which I was showed,there lived a girl in it.
She was average built,wore old bright clothes on her dark skin.
Her skin lacked luster.
She had a scar right below her neck.
He cleavage was marked by that wound.
It was mark of burnt patch of dead skin.
She rarely combed her hair.
She was always caught out-of-bed types.
She asked just too many questions from everyone.
She made friends with every new comer.
Every new comer will phone anti the third day.
That girl was considered an anathema.
She had been asked to vacate many times.
Not even a single time she said she will not.
Since,it had no end.
I stayed in another room like a refugee.
I bated my breath in anticipation and trepidation.

Nothing moved.Everything was still.
The spell broke and the girl screamed.
That room was permanently betrothed to her.
I was nobody but just a weakling.
Days past in thinking.
Their philanthropy made me an altruist.
I squeezed myself into the new room.

Anti wanted more butter.
She asked me to pay more.
This room was better for her.
I said I m sorry.
Milk of kindness showered -
When I said, "I am a teacher".
She implored,"Then Attend to my son's academic features ".
I ordered , '' Bring his books".
The son was moved.
He said, "I am too old and sexy for a tuition".
So was I - too young & appealing for an honorary affectation.
Nothing moved.

I stayed here in this room.
No room mate lasting not more than a season.
The room gave them every reason
What was right about this room in precision?
I repaired the door.
Then the cupboard.
Then I put a mirror.
I changed the curtains.
I went to office late just because the maid would never make it on time.
When the room smelt of damp air from the desert cooler.
I changed the walls of cooler.
I put the first bulb in the socket.
I got the tube lights changed.
I sprayed the room freshener.
I brought the first mosquito repellent.
I decorated the place.
I thought, I owned it now.
I had a nice reputation at the place.
I felt like a princess.
I was resourceful and accommodating.
Now room mates stayed for longer.
I was requested to help the case of others.
I became the negotiator.

The pg was my home.
I thought I could live here forever.

I did not relocate when my work place changed.
The other provisional things did come off.
I went on replacing them.

Just today, I felt like an adventurous nomad once again.
I returned to my room to find two new faces.
A girl and her mother.
Antie said -
You are the sweetest girl to me.
And had an extra bed take away my peace of mind.

Her philanthropy means my altruism.
This time something is going to move.
This time - it will be me.
Touts will be touts!!!
Philanthropic touts...
They pay no tax.
Tax in on the inmates.
They save electricity bills by cutting out the main supply.
They say that they save enough for Earth hour.
Touts O touts!
You philanthropic touts!
They block the washing machine.
They say girls do not know the right use.
One can of milk is equivalent to two teaspoonfuls of milk.
Lunch is not laid,because no one is at home in the noon.
Those who are,they do not count.
Tout o tout!
Thou,philanthropic tout.

Shout,we will shout-
U malevolent, manipulative,lazy bums growing fat on sprouts!!!
To hell with your CSR,
Embittered our PR.
The bugbear was just a misnomer.
You used her for her dumbness.
To entice people to her room.
Just to arrange them like sacks of golds,
In your stored sans nuts and bolts.
Arse of a rat to you-you, 'philanthropic touts'!

At other places I am aware I have seen worse.
People make sections of wood.The cup boards are open and not on wall.
The cupboards are on floor.
Not clothes but girls stay in them.
Good-bad-virgins-married all types.
Touts say that they have provided them with
Food,Security and Shelter.
Philanthropy in this age is merely a 'euphemism'.
Neither is my tale any less than a hyperbole,
if I say that I would give up first.
I will make it a chapter of an adulterated history ".
If you are thinking of any such business;
Beware!! You might get PG bugger bloggers like me.